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Who Links Here

Wednesday, December 29, 2004
The Man from the Cat Detector Van

By Steven Taylor @ 11:08 am

This (referencing this) reminded me of this:

C: Look, it’s a bleeding pet, isn’t it? I’ve got a license for me pet dog Eric, and I’ve got a license for me pet cat Eric…
S: You don’t need a license for your cat.
C: I bleeding well do and I got one. He can’t be called Eric without it-
S: There’s no such thing as a bloody cat license.
C: Yes there is!
S: Isn’t!
C: Is!
S: Isn’t!
C: I bleeding got one, look! What’s that then?
S: This is a dog license with the word ‘dog’ crossed out and ‘cat’ written in in crayon.
C: The man didn’t have the right form.
S: What man?
C: The man from the cat detector van.
S: The looney detector van, you mean.
C: Look, it’s people like you what cause unrest.
S: What cat detector van?
C: The cat detector van from the Ministry of Housinge.
S: Housinge?
C: It was spelt like that on the van (I’m very observant!). I never seen so many bleeding aerials. The man said that their equipment could pinpoint a purr at four hundred yards! And Eric, being such a happy cat, was a piece of cake.
S: How much did you pay for this?
C: Sixty quid, and eight for the fruit-bat.
S: What fruit-bat?
C: Eric the fruit-bat.
S: Are all your pets called Eric?

Which, of course, is lampooning this:

We have a fleet of detector vans, plus, our enforcement officers have access to hand-held detection devices capable of detecting a magnetic field when a TV is switched on. In fact, we catch an average of over 1,000 people watching TV without a licence every day.

Yet another reason to live in the good ol’ U S of A.

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