Steve Bainbridge isn’t too impressed with a list of
cultural IQ metrics for the next President by Dean Bartlett in the Weekly Standard (the list included NASCAR and High Noon among other things).
Steve decided to conjure his own arbitrary list (which, curiously, sounds a lot like Steve–at least based on what I know of him from his blog), and I thought I’d see how well I would score:
as long as we’re on the subject of useless Presidential criteria, here’s some more things I’d like to see in the next President:* Knows which wine to match with the foie gras-stuffed quail being served at a state dinner. I haven’t a clue.
* Won’t wink at the Queen I can do that.
* Doesn’t hunt, fish, or go with girls who do That’s me.
* Smokes cigars Never have.
* Is sometimes accused of having a metrosexual streak That has never happened to my knowledge.
* Only drinks beer with foods that would score at least 10,000 on the Scoville scale While I might be considered a beer snob, I haven’t the vaguest idea what the Scoville scale is.
* Can credibly debate the relative claims of The Matrix, Star Wars, Bladerunner, and Star Trek II to be the greatest science fiction movie of all time I can do that with ease.
* Can credibly debate the relative claims of The Who and Bruce Springsteen & The E Street Band to be the world’s greatest rock and roll band No go here.
* Came from a state that didn’t secede Can’t help ya there.
* Can recite at least one Monty Python skit from memory Easily done.
* Can credibly debate the relative claims of Blazing Saddles, The Producers, and Young Frankenstein to be Mel Brook’s best movie, while explaining why Spaceballs is a candidate for the worst movie ever I have never seen all of the Producers, and I actually liked Spaceballs…
* Has never sat through an entire Woody Allen movie, an entire Nascar race, or an entire Dixie Chicks concert Done.
* Wouldn’t camp out 5 days to get Garth Brooks tickets even if s/he was camping at the time No camping for me and I got tired of Garth Brooks quite a while ago.
* Went to Germany on vacation because s/he couldn’t find a highway with high enough speed limits in the US Doesn’t fit my profile, I must confess.
* Prefers football to basketball to baseball to soccer I’m with you there.
* Doesn’t play golf Sorry, but I do love my golf.
* Doesn’t bowl That’ll work–I am not much of a bowler, although I am not averse to so doing.
* Has no kids to foist subsequent generations of politicians on us Sorry, I’ve got three.
* Has a spouse with no political ambitions I’ve got that.
* Lives with at least one golden retriever Done.
Ok, I am not a perfect fit, but should be in the running, I should think.
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May 13th, 2007 at 10:06 pm
While I might be considered a beer snob, I haven’t the vaguest idea what the Scoville scale is.
What, you’re from Texas and you don’t know your “hotness” scale? It’s about chili peppers.
May 13th, 2007 at 10:25 pm
Ah yes, now that you mention it, that does sounds familiar.
But we Texans we don’t need no stinking scale to measure hotness!
May 14th, 2007 at 8:43 am
Only the spicy food geek and food scientists care about the Scoville scale.
May 14th, 2007 at 11:57 am
And no self-confessed beer snob would drink his or her beer with foods that register high on the Scoville index. You can’t taste the beer.
May 14th, 2007 at 11:59 am
Oh, and Spaceballs was great. I am a big Woody Allen fan, however. What this might mean for my presidential prospects I do not know.